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Posts Tagged ‘Change’

I have talked about heating with wood several times over the years of writing this blog. Particularly at this time of year, it is entails a significant input of time, energy, and mental focus. You might wonder why anyone would expend so much energy over the course of 38 years heating their house. In generations past is was, no doubt, a simple necessity of life. It certainly has saved me thousands of dollars in heating bills which I would have struggled to come up with in certain years of the past and always preferred not to spend.

But even more than that, it is a lifestyle. David Thoreau was generous when he said that heating with wood warmed you twice. Cutting, loading, unloading, splitting, stacking, carrying in, starting and maintaining fires, enjoying the heat, carrying out ashes, and cleaning the chimney are a few ways it warms me. I think it probably warms me nearly ten times. Central heat is good, but I don’t know where to go to warm my hands or dry out my wet clothing. And when the blizzard of ’93 hit, we were warm for the 8 days that the power was out and cooked beans and soup while we heated the house. My boys split wood while they were home, but I even participated then. I have been loaned a hydraulic wood splitter thrice that I recall, but never split all of the wood that way for a season. At my latitude the winter is not long or bitterly cold. 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 cords of wood is sufficient for the warmest and coldest winters we have. I prefer taking dead wood over cutting live trees and the majority of trees here are oak.

I have gotten to where I can smell what kind of wood is being burned and whether it is wet or green or dried. When the first fire of the season is lit, the smell of dust burning off of the stove brings warm reminiscence of past years. For all of this, the 39th year of heating with wood may be the last. I am not tired of the work and fire making effort. If you had asked me 5 years ago what would cause me to stop heating with wood, I would have said ability and energy to gather it. The real reason now seems to be that all of that smelling of fires, and more specifically chainsaws has had a bad repercussion. Between mowing, weed eating, leaf blowing, and chainsaws I have become “allergic” to combustion products, particularly 2 cycle oil. An hour or so exposure brings on aches and sometimes debilitating joint pains. So, since I haven’t converted over my heat source, still mow and weed eat and blow leaves, I have to wear a organics fume mask. Try working in that on a hot day. And since I don’t sport a Hitler mustache (regulation for gas masks), The seal on the mask is not ideal and I still get some mild ill effects from the fumes. So, check out my latest foray into the woods to cut and split wood here.

I thought as I pulled my truck out of the woods and passed a super duty four door diesel truck that I am thankful to have an old truck that is still functional and being used for what it was designed for. I guess that I like working, even though I want to do it at a slower rate these days. What’s the rush? Of course, there is the need to get wood in the dry before the wet and cold days when very little dries out. I believe I am ahead of that curve this year.

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One of my principals came by the house today to place a sign in my front yard stating how proud we are that I teach. I retorted that I thought that I would not get a sign since I am retiring after this semester. No, she says, you should especially get one for all of your years of teaching. I met her husband, who is also a teacher and we began talking “teacher talk” (1). During this crazy time there is much talk about Earth shaking, or at least societal, changes coming to every area of life, education in particular. Both of them were congratulating me on my coming retirement, especially at such an opportune time. I related that it had occurred to me that this was a similar transition that my father had transversed in the late 1980’s as a 39 year veteran of drafting/designing. He said that it was the right time for him to go out because he was not interested in learning this new CAD drawing. He had spent a long career with paper and pencil, or pen on permanent drawings. And here I am, having made my decision to retire before the pandemic occurred, but all the more glad I am retiring once I realized that significant online schooling is coming. Actually, I am OK with the computer. I have some things to learn, but I’m not far from where I need to be. The problem is how to motivate, explain to, tell a story to, relate to, properly assess, or significantly influence students virtually. Suddenly I felt like a dinosaur when I had not felt that way two months ago. A new epoch of online strata had been added to a bed of the technology era. (2) It feels suddenly virtually impossible to teach students subject matter which was fluid such a short time ago. The Great Flood had come (3) and this terrible lizard was stuck in a mud bank.

In the same way that my father was useful to make corrections on line drawing in pen, so I may be helpful if the traditional classroom is a thing again. But as I told my principal, that’s someone else’s problem now. I see the kindness of the guiding hand of God’s Providence (4) in these circumstances. He is no less kind when we get stuck in the middle, for He has an eternal perspective. He is more concerned for our spiritual and eternal good than our temporal comfort. But from this poor man’s view, all is right at the moment with retirement.

1) Every group or profession has their jargon and shared experiences so that you can talk to a teacher from across the globe and laugh about the same tendencies among students and parents in both places, in the same way engineers or salesmen or carpenters can say others just don’t understand.

2) I hope someone understands my paleontological metaphor.

3) I guess some folks won’t catch my extended metaphor unless I say the great meteor rather than Great Flood, though I believe it to be the latter.

4) Notice that I did not say guiding hand of Providence as many of our Founding Fathers referenced, as if it were an impersonal force rather than a personal God.

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Just before the beginning of the pandemic shutdown, my wife and I went to my school district’s central office to meet with the retirement planner. After many questions I signed the papers to begin the process. I thought that I would be ambivalent about retiring, but my confidence that it was time to go grew as I filled out the paperwork and afterwards. That night I slept contentedly until around 4 AM, when I awoke thinking about retirement. I still had no hesitation, but a poem began to come explaining why I feel that it is time to go:

When the burning desire to teach
Is in its last throe
Gone the desire to grow and reach
Then it is time to go

Knowledge is sweet and learning is good
But when drive is low
To push another’s ought’s and should*
Then it is time to go

Against all odds some came to make
Understanding flow
But when each step uphill you take
Then it is time to go

Hard victories won, stories told
Wisdom you did sow
Delivery now stale and old
Then it is time to go

To new pursuits of love and life
Always change and grow
Putting aside the stress and strife
Then it is time to go

Now my long mission is complete
What good did I sow?
Confidence, ambivalence meet
Farewell, it’s time to go

 

Teaching is a stressful job, but I liked the interaction with students. For many years I felt that it was a calling. I have no regrets about teaching and I have no regrets about ending this stage of my life. I look forward to what God has in store for me. Now to start a new adventure.

*”Oughts and Shoulds” is phrase I have used over the years because it has significant meaning to me. But when I have voiced it, few others seem to understand what I mean. Legalism and compulsion say, “You ought to do this and you should do that,” or “You ought not and should not do that.” Grace says, “All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify”, and “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:23,31) But as teachers we are often compelled to compel the student who does not want to learn or make effort at learning. We should drop compulsory learning. Let the parents decide and compel those who won’t do their work to go home.

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Last Sunday my pastor preached from Proverbs 6:16-19. He began by assuring us that the purpose of the passage, as well as his sermon, was not to condemn but to help. God points out our sin for the purpose of warning us so that we might come to Him for help. His second point was how far short we fall, yet how gracious God is. My heart was stirred by the sermon and I reflected on it later in the week, I put many of the pastor’s thoughts into the following poem. I hope that you find it admonishing, instructive, and encouraging.

His grace is spread abroad in us
By manifold and diverse ways

That cleanses us from deadly sins
To live for Him all of our days

To end six sins which God so hates
His character pure they offend
Even seven sins He abhors
By fierce judgment He shall attend

No more haughty eyes glaring pride
Now like the humble Savior be
Eyes that show compassion and love
That all might His grace and truth see

Enough of tongues that concoct lies
Denying and obscuring truth
God’s truth will set you free, He said
Renewing your years as in youth

Hands that shed innocent blood, stop
The Savior’s blood was shed for you
Now like the Master’s healing hands
Helping the poor and infirm, too

Hearts devise wicked plans to scheme
Transgress the righteousness of God
A heart of compassion put on
Equity more than just a nod

Feet run rapidly to evil
While rebellion rules in the heart
Submit to the Savior and live
In healing conflict do your part

False witnesses uttering lies
Gossip and slander destroy lives
Put away filthy, silly talk
Be instead one who for truth strives

One spreading strife among brothers
Strikes a note of profound discord
Seek unity with the brethren
Dwelling in peace with one accord

By God’s help we pursue these things
Bringing all glory to our Lord
Blessings come to ourselves and kin
Others encouragement afford

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Overflows from the Heart

"But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart…" Matthew 15:18

CreatorWorship

Pointing to the One who made, saved, and sustains